Twisted Caesar

All lives, all paths in life are different. Today, I realized this with growing certainty. A list of events that I never foresaw starting compiling in my mind. This list probably went something like this, "Hey! I'm going to run four freaking miles! Woah... who knew they'd provide us with a gym... in the Disney College Program.. that I'm in! Sweet! and my family is fully supporting me... and I'm a flippin' character performer! That's pretty sweet, too.. and I'm working in Disney, where I've never even been before... but Kevin has a billion times. Oh, yeah! I have a boyfriend... and he's freakin' amazing! Woah." Huh. Pretty awesome list. God is so good.
Speaking of the big guy, I went to Celebration, Florida the other day to see if I could get my feet wet in the community there. The priest there, Father Gregory, standing at a towering 6'8", more or less threw me off a dock into this community. Within minutes of meeting him, he had already made plans to introduce me to the youth leader and her assistant leaders the next day, in addition to having me come to mass the next day at 5:30 so I could witness the contemporary mass and talk to it's leader about singing and playing guitar there. I felt pulled there, though, a powerful feeling of God/s will and strengthened by my own curiosity. Needless to say, I went. It was like a twisted Caesar quote: "I came, I saw, I was severely confused." Everything was different than what I was used to. Not only was it different, it was contradictory. The mass seemed to be not a celebration of God's own son coming down to be among us and taken into our very beings, but a contemporary Christian concert. Every hymn, every mass part was played up. I was so distracted, thank goodness I read the readings ahead of time. This part was what confused me the most. I was so used to the philosophy that as we decrease, God can increase. That the music ministry was supposed to be a gentle guide to help people delve deeper into the mass, and not detract from the service in any way. Now, the musicians were all very, very talented. This talent, though, instead of shining for the glory of God, was uncomfortably bright, blinding the congregation from our Lord in the precious moments of mass when it's so important to see him and hear his words clearly. It was sad when I hurt multiple people speaking about how they were truly distracted during the service because of the music. Later, when Father Gregory asked me, "So, Annika... what did you think of the music?" The only think I could think of to describe myself was, "Well, Father... if my style at church back home was indie-acoustic... this would probably be glam-rock..." I think he understood me. I looked at him apologetically, wishing I had some other words to say. I made it clear that they were all obviously very talented. Maybe there's a reason for me being involved in this group? We'll see.
As for the youth group, it's much smaller than I'm used to. The kids are all great, all diverse. I do think that I was spoiled back in Fairfax with such knowledgeable youth ministers. I often felt that I had a better answer to one of the questions of the teens. I also felt that maybe they were more concerned with the teens coming back than what they would learn should the event occur. Still, it's a solid group of people, and I'm excited about spending more time with them. I'm exhausted. There are so many things coming up and going on, my brain and body get very tired very quickly. Night!